At 58 Quaker Lane, a kid’s bedroom with a Safari theme is one of half a dozen listing photos that had us scratching our heads.
Photo: Sotheby’s International Realty
We spend entirely too much time clicking through on StreetEasy and Trulia, and often find ourselves wondering — who lives there, and why do they have so many equestrian trophies? Here, we’ve rounded up the listings that have sent us down wormholes — the Chelsea condo with multiple photographs of a single person, the Hudson Yards penthouse filled with vintage guitars, and the Park Avenue co-op with mirrors covering practically every surface.
Address: 58 Quaker Lane, Greenwich, CT
Price: $20 Million at Auction
Everything here is like the lion-claw-footed, eggplant-colored pool table — clearly expensive, custom, and impossible not to zoom in on. As it turns out, the compound was once owned by a developer who was murdered by the cousin of his “chauffeur,” according to the local paper, which reports the current owner might be even more of a character, given a “peacock enclosure on the property.” Records show the owner is Suhail Rizvi, an investor who once held 15 percent of Twitter, poured cash into Playboy to help Hugh Hefner take it private, and now funds SpaceX from his private-equity firm based in West Palm Beach.
Address: 125 Eighth Avenue, Brooklyn
Price: $4.95 million
Mansion renovators, look no further than a 1920 landmarked building that was listed with no photos of the seven units inside, just a warning that one is still occupied by a market-rate tenant.
Address: 314 West 14th St 3D
Price: $2.25 million
It’s a bit strange to hang three sexy photos of any one person on the walls of a home, even if that person is Kate Moss. Presumably the excuse is that the owners of this Chelsea condo actually know her: The Giffords sell cashmere sweaters that she once modeled.
Address: 575 Park Avenue #806
Price: $625,000
If you’d rather look at yourself than Kate Moss, buy this Park Avenue co-op absolutely covered in mirrors — on opposing living-room walls, at the foot of a bed and bend it, and seemingly everywhere in a bathroom.
Address: 163 East 64th Street
Price: $15,995,000
Renovating an 1872 home requires hiring top-tier craftsmen who work slowly — a pain, when you have 8,000 square feet to cover and monthly taxes around $11,000. But the last owner seemed not to worry, making every decision to customize (silk wallpaper, hand-painting, window treatments). That was probably a mistake. He’s been trying to sell for 16 years and now a bank is trying to foreclose.
Address: 66 Bedford Street #1
Price: $13,500,000
This West Village townhouse is giving double-toilet bathroom.
Address: 286 Spring Street, #6
Price: $15.9 million
Twenty-eight vintage guitars and a baby grand in a Spring Street penthouse with 8,000 square feet of outdoor space is somehow not owned by Bruce Springsteen. Instead, this seems to be the collection of a retired lawyer on the deed, who simply enjoys having nice guitars.
Address: 920 Fifth Avenue #8A
Price: $17 million
Live out your 1980s socialite dreams in a ten-room co-op, bathed in florals and Chinoiserie, with views over Central Park. The 1922 building was by J.E.R. Carpenter, architect of pomp.
Address: 123 East 35th Street
Price: $19,500,000
Photo: Modlin Group
One of the “largest single-family homes in New York City,” according to the listing, the 11,638-square-foot first-impression factory was built by a 19th-century railroad tycoon turned banker. It’s been on the market since 2022 and just got a $13.5 million price cut. With nine bedrooms and, on my count, nine more palatial rooms that could be bedrooms (I would happily take the “receiving room” or “library”), one could recruit 17 friends at $1.14 million each.
Address: 45 West 70th Street
Price: $14.98 Million
TVs in listings tend to be edited in post to show a serene and forgettable beach shot. At this townhouse, all four flat screens show the same chaotic pair of guys arguing in front of a bush. If you recognize them, write in.
Respond to the “contest” and tip us to the quirkiest, craziest listings by writing to adriane.quinlan@voxmedia.com.
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